Thursday, February 24, 2005

TBogg on Jonah


Now it would be wrong to try and pie Jonah "Momma Never Bought Me No War Pants" Goldberg, because, well, he's Jonah Goldberg and he takes to pie like herpe to Ann Coulter, so you should just show up and ask questions about why he loves Islamofacists so much that he won't fight them.

Meanwhile, since I didn't win a Koufax this year, we'll start the weekly Jonah fan fiction next week.

Excerpted from the "fan fiction:"

"I no longer serve Apophis, or any Goa'uld," said Rich-el, and Jonah realised the woman was now speaking English. Just like the Maglalang. But she was definitely not a Maglalang since she wasn't foaming at the mouth.

Mmh. Hackwacker is intrigued.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Small Precautions on Goldberg

As an aside, it amazes me that someone as asinine as Goldberg can continue to get published. By his own testimony, his only qualification for his job at the WSJ is what he calls his "good political judgment." But what are we to make of the political judgment of someone who, when asked him why, if he was so in favor of killing people abroad, he didn't make the sacrifice of signing up to go do it himself, replies that his family needs the money he gets from his work and that he has a daughter?
You took the snark right out of our mouths, purpleprose.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

There Are Real Hacks Among Us

The problem, it seems to me, is that not all evolution is synonymous with improvement. About a decade ago, Columbia University professor Andrew Delbanco wrote an elegant book, "The Death of Satan," in which he argued that America had lost the ability to speak in terms of evil. He called it a "tragedy of the imagination," and he was right.

For decades, a therapeutic culture of "understanding" was on the rise. Except for acts of racism and so-called homophobia, there was a mad rush to "understand" evil people. Were they victims of a racist culture? Were they abused themselves? Were they expressing their natural frustration with the patriarchal capitalist system? Blah, blah, blah.
The "blah, blah, blah" part is spot on. Tell me, Jonah, do you get paid by the word, or just the number of old saws you trot out? No one sympathizes with child abusers, and you should be embarassed for making that association.

You know why society is so sick right now, Jonah? Because of hacks like you who attempt to push the fear and hate buttons of your readers. You cloak the justification of prejudice in morality, and tell us that we should be very afraid, because the boogey man, the "understanding" left is going to eat you. You are the problem.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Rittenhouse Review on Legitimacy (Or Not)

That Goldberg hasn't a clue about the level of scholarship, intelligence, and achievement required to attain such rank reveals far more about the right-wing foundation-and-grant gravy train upon which Goldberg and Mrs. Goldberg and Mrs. Goldberg have fed so eagerly and so often, than the enlistment-dodger would care to admit. On Jonah

Justin Raimondo:
That Jonah Goldberg's facile punditry masks a truly nasty nature seems beyond dispute: after all, here is someone who made his reputation, such as it is, retailing sex tapes surreptitiously recorded, "leaking" a trail of slime that eventually slipped up a President. A more fitting symbol of the Clinton era conservative movement – a gaggle of remarkably unattractive character assassins, bereft of ideas and fixated on filth – would be hard to imagine.

Canadian Cynic on Chicken Hawks

When I grow up, I want to be just like Jonah.

Man, there seems to be a lot of this going around.
Young Republicans support Iraq war, but not all are willing to join the fight:

Young Republicans gathered here for their party's national convention are united in applauding the war in Iraq, supporting the U.S. troops there and calling the U.S. mission a noble cause.

But there's no such unanimity when they're asked a more personal question: Would you be willing to put on the uniform and go to fight in Iraq?

In more than a dozen interviews, Republicans in their teens and 20s offered a range of answers. Some have friends in the military in Iraq and are considering enlisting; others said they can better support the war by working politically in the United States; and still others said they think the military doesn't need them because the U.S. presence in Iraq is sufficient.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Hullabaloo on Jonah

Here is a pretty good example of how the right blogosphere is treating the Manchurian Beefcake story --- from Jonah Goldberg :

Until Jordan quit on Friday, the lefty bloggers were dancing around the victory fire chanting in triumph over bagging this Jeff Gannon guy from Talon News. I'm extending this metaphor too far, I'm sure, but their celebration makes me wonder how so many brave warriors can eat their fill off the carcass of a chipmunk. I confess that at first I thought this sounded like a real story. But it's turned out to be more than a little sad.

Paraphrasing a comment I read somewhere yesterday (apologies to the author) "pay no attention to the naked gay conservative male prostitute sitting in the middle of the family values white house living room." Goldberg affects a jocular dismissiveness for a reason. He knows what a real story is and he knows how they work. And he is trivializing this one because it is actually quite dangerous.

What is Hack? Frankly, I Don't Know.

Jonah on whether film is art or entertainment:
Take cathedrals, the only form of classical art I know much about. The stained glass and stone carvings of medieval cathedrals were intended to tell very specific stories and convey very specific messages to bored and illiterate lay people. They were spectacles that aimed to wow and attract. Yet no one would hesitate today to call the North Rose window of Notre Dame de Paris "art." If the Catholic Church had had access to a Super 8 camera circa 1200, there's little doubt in my mind that Bishop Sully would have been out there with a light meter around his neck shooting movies instead of carving gargoyles.
I don't really know much about anything, but that won't stop me from opening my doughy yap. It's kind of amusing, Jonah, when you shake your fists at the intellectual elite, then refer to the common folk as "bored and illiterate lay people." Kind of. But not really.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Iddybud on Jonah

Coming from a radical right-wing megaphone that professionally harbors Jonah Goldberg, an ideologue who regularly chimes in on Iraq when he admits he's never even read a book on Iraq, I'm not impressed. I'm terribly sick of their hypocrisy.

Speaking of Goldberg, he wrote this line today (note the joyous-frick'n-head over-a-mantle referral) "Jordan's head will hang alongside Howell Raines's, the editor of the New York frick'n Times and four top executives at CBS News."

These are not the words of a humble or professional journalist.
No frick'n kidding.

Attaturk on Goldberg

From Rising Hegemon:
Over at the intersection of Let's Talk about serious stuff like the Carter Submarine Street & Hey Look over there, the Clenis Avenue, the world's thickest Simpson's affecianado spouts forth:

But meanwhile I've had several people try to explain to me that the gay sex angle makes this story no less significant than the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Jeff Gannon = Commander-in-Chief. I don't see it.

Let me explain it to you in a way in which you are intimately familiar:"For all I know he finger butt-fucked Chelsea Dubya"

Depends on the Meaning of the Word "Whack"

Jonah at The Corner:
Prof. Bainbridge whacks Joe Conason for trying to make and[sic] even bigger deal out of the Gannon story.
Prof. Bainbridge:
If Conason wants to make the point that the Eason Jordan flap got more coverage, that's true. But I don't think the numbers support Conason's complaint that the MSM is ignoring the Guckert/Gannon story.
Total takedown! I bet Joe Conason's smarting from that one. You showed him Brainbridge. You with your polite scholarly mild disagreement. You just humiliated him!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Tell Them: You Go Girl

From Gene Expression:
And that gets us to the heart of why this study is more bogus than a $6 dollar Rolex. Virtually all of the characteristics the authors attribute to the right can be equally laid at the feet of the left. If you think left-wingers have a high tolerance for ambiguity, tell one it's not clear that Head Start does any good at all. Talk to them about racial differences. Say: "Even if gay marriage were worth doing, there would be many devastating negative consequences." Mention that a factory closing can be a good thing. Tell them it's okay for economists to put a specific monetary value on a human life. Tell them intelligence tests measure intelligence.
And while you're at it, tell them that a paragraph is made up of a series of random, incongruent sentences.

And by the way, it hurts my ears to hear hacks use the word "bogus."

May I Present the Next Chief Scientist of the NSF

Okay, in the grand spirit of airborne-laser-volcano-lancing, I would like to ask why we don't have really cool underground drilling vehicles -- a la Journey to the Center of the Earth or (for younger readers) the third Matrix movie. We're currently researching ground penetrating nuclear weapons because our enemies have learned to bury their nuclear facilities deep, deep underground. Well, why can't we have a really cool drill-tipped winebago that can tunnel underground and come up right in the middle of the floor of the nuke labs? Special armored tanks and troop carriers could follow behind.

I suspect the answer is quite simple. Rocks are too hard. But I think this is a cop-out for such a can-do people.
Sometimes, Jonah, you say things so stupid that no response is sufficiently snarky.

Jonah At Work